Atheism and Sexuality

[AshtonBlack]

Sisifo - you may find this thread interesting, which is a Poll of sexuality amongst forum members, and started yesterday by coincidence. It's in NSFW (which you'll need to ask an Admin for access to) amongst many other ... um ... threads.

I don't seem able to access this section. Was the the cordoned off bit to protect the kiddies? If so LEMME IN!...please.

PM a red person.

[Animavore]

Sisifo - you may find this thread interesting, which is a Poll of sexuality amongst forum members, and started yesterday by coincidence. It's in NSFW (which you'll need to ask an Admin for access to) amongst many other ... um ... threads.

I don't seem able to access this section. Was the the cordoned off bit to protect the kiddies? If so LEMME IN!...please.

PM a red person.

Ger out of that yis bastards.

Quit trying to harvest totty yis sexual predators.

[AshtonBlack]

Sisifo - you may find this thread interesting, which is a Poll of sexuality amongst forum members, and started yesterday by coincidence. It's in NSFW (which you'll need to ask an Admin for access to) amongst many other ... um ... threads.

I don't seem able to access this section. Was the the cordoned off bit to protect the kiddies? If so LEMME IN!...please.

PM a red person.

Ger out of that yis bastards.

Quit trying to harvest totty yis sexual predators.

A shark with a hard on???

[Animavore]

Sisifo - you may find this thread interesting, which is a Poll of sexuality amongst forum members, and started yesterday by coincidence. It's in NSFW (which you'll need to ask an Admin for access to) amongst many other ... um ... threads.

I don't seem able to access this section. Was the the cordoned off bit to protect the kiddies? If so LEMME IN!...please.

PM a red person.

Ger out of that yis bastards.

Quit trying to harvest totty yis sexual predators.

A shark with a hard on???

More like a shark how scours the internet under the guise of a 13 year old boy from Birmingham with the intent of committing serious sexual assault.

[Geoff]

Ok. This is the main reason why I moved to this forum. I find that many atheist have views of sexuality that are pretty much the same as religious people: modesty, guilt about sex and most shocking: holding the idea of transcendentalism in sex so much as to wait "for the right person" or "the right moment". I can't see how is possible that something that isn't illegal and is even argued as sin or not by believers, can hold moral value for atheist. I personally see it as absurd as trying to trascendentalize lunch.
Please: Those who think that sexuality is more or higher than any other human function, so that requires especial conditions can explain the reasons?

Not in my experience. Admittedly, we're probably not a representative sample on this forum, but in my experience atheists are much less inhibited sexually than theists. As Rumertron says, though, that's a generalisation, but overall I think it's a valid one. Also bear in mind that many atheists have previously been religious, and it's often difficult to escape all the early conditioning. If you grow up in an environment that teaches "God hates fags", for example, it may take a while to realise that he really quite likes them, in a manly sort of way...

[Thinking Aloud]

Ok. This is the main reason why I moved to this forum. I find that many atheist have views of sexuality that are pretty much the same as religious people: modesty, guilt about sex and most shocking: holding the idea of transcendentalism in sex so much as to wait "for the right person" or "the right moment". I can't see how is possible that something that isn't illegal and is even argued as sin or not by believers, can hold moral value for atheist. I personally see it as absurd as trying to trascendentalize lunch.
Please: Those who think that sexuality is more or higher than any other human function, so that requires especial conditions can explain the reasons?

Not in my experience. Admittedly, we're probably not a representative sample on this forum, but in my experience atheists are much less inhibited sexually than theists. As Rumertron says, though, that's a generalisation, but overall I think it's a valid one. Also bear in mind that many atheists have previously been religious, and it's often difficult to escape all the early conditioning. If you grow up in an environment that teaches "God hates fags", for example, it may take a while to realise that he really quite likes them, in a manly sort of way...

Having been religious for 20 years or so, and waning for another 10 before acknowledging atheism, yes, the early conditioning has a huge role to play in how one approaches the subject. I was once staunch No Sex Before Marriage, and held all kinds of views on what was and was not "acceptable". Over time I dropped one after the other, on rational or practical grounds, or just because - hell - that sounded like a good idea, and I'd like to have a go.

And realising that there's no second chance does one the world of good when it comes to seeking out new experiences!

[Bella Fortuna]

Ok. This is the main reason why I moved to this forum. I find that many atheist have views of sexuality that are pretty much the same as religious people: modesty, guilt about sex and most shocking: holding the idea of transcendentalism in sex so much as to wait "for the right person" or "the right moment". I can't see how is possible that something that isn't illegal and is even argued as sin or not by believers, can hold moral value for atheist. I personally see it as absurd as trying to trascendentalize lunch.
Please: Those who think that sexuality is more or higher than any other human function, so that requires especial conditions can explain the reasons?

Not in my experience. Admittedly, we're probably not a representative sample on this forum, but in my experience atheists are much less inhibited sexually than theists. As Rumertron says, though, that's a generalisation, but overall I think it's a valid one. Also bear in mind that many atheists have previously been religious, and it's often difficult to escape all the early conditioning. If you grow up in an environment that teaches "God hates fags", for example, it may take a while to realise that he really quite likes them, in a manly sort of way...

I'd felt this way too until the 'Great Purge' at RDF and later incarnations of the same dynamic... atheists can be just as prudish, reserved, judgmental, inhibited, non-sexual, asexual, repressed, self-conscious, inexperienced, etc. etc. as anyone, and all shades between those descriptors and their opposites. I'd like to think that atheists are more "rational" in such things, but when it comes to sex it's nearly impossible to remove conditioning, evolutionary directives, and our own emotions. Perhaps it's better that way in some senses, actually.

[lordpasternack]

I wonder if sis is making some indirect reference to the guidelines regarding sexual discussion on RDF...

Sis - those rules were brought in after there had been much debauchery in the Off-Topic section of that forum: threads on the taste of semen, felching, ass-to-mouth, fisting, etc... Richard Dawkins was contacted by the RDFRS lawyer and warned that it might well jeopardise RDFRS should the Charity Commissioners stumble across it - even though there is no de jure connection between RD.net and RDFRS - just because Richard's "reputation" was tied up in it.

The rules drafted in were explicit and all-encompassing. No personal discussion of sexuality at all. There were hues and cries to loosen the rules a little, but Richard himself is reported to have said no, outright. You now have the farcical situation where, on an atheist-centred website, the rules are more constricted than some religious sites with respect to discussing sex and sexuality - and one is actually allowed to say more about one's personal experiences with drugs - an illegal activity - than one is allowed to say about one's sexuality. That really, really sticks in my craw. And it remains one of the few bones I have to pick with Dawkins.

[tattuchu]

I think if atheists have similar attitudes about sex compared to theists, it's simply because we've been brought up in the same environment. It's very difficult to escape religious oppression. It's insidious influence is ever-present. At least in the U.S. In other countries maybe nor so much. Still, in general, I think atheists are a more liberated bunch. We're a group of people who by definition don't fit in, deviate from the norm, and therefore don't feel a need to hold ourselves to the same rules as others.

My sexuality is...complicated. On the one hand, I consider myself a hedonist. If it feels good, do it. That's my motto. On the other hand, I'm a hopeless romantic. And I tend to fall in love with anyone who is kind enough to have sex with me

[lordpasternack]

Still, in general, I think atheists are a more liberated bunch. We're a group of people who by definition don't fit in, deviate from the norm, and therefore don't feel a need to hold ourselves to the same rules as others.

I think it's difficult to generalise about what athiests are like - given that the only thing we have in common is a lack of belief in a deity - though I suppose in the current climate that might, in and of itself, be indicative of other personality traits.

One thing I'd say though is that we lack the constraints of any official dogma to tell us what is taboo or good or bad sexually - meaning that we have more opportunity to pull apart some of the irrational baggage that often gets tagged onto certain aspects of sexuality by society around us. There are still plenty of atheists who haven't really availed themselves of that opportunity, though.

[Xamonas Chegwé]

I consider myself a hedonist. If it feels good, do it. That's my motto.

Hedonism becomes tiring very quickly if adopted as an over-arching life-choice. However, I have yet to find a better philosophy to apply to a long-weekend!

[lordpasternack]

I consider myself a hedonist. If it feels good, do it. That's my motto.

Hedonism becomes tiring very quickly if adopted as an over-arching life-choice. However, I have yet to find a better philosophy to apply to a long-weekend!

[Geoff]

Still, in general, I think atheists are a more liberated bunch. We're a group of people who by definition don't fit in, deviate from the norm, and therefore don't feel a need to hold ourselves to the same rules as others.

I think it's difficult to generalise about what athiests are like - given that the only thing we have in common is a lack of belief in a deity - though I suppose in the current climate that might, in and of itself, be indicative of other personality traits.

One thing I'd say though is that we lack the constraints of any official dogma to tell us what is taboo or good or bad sexually - meaning that we have more opportunity to pull apart some of the irrational baggage that often gets tagged onto certain aspects of sexuality by society around us. There are still plenty of atheists who haven't really availed themselves of that opportunity, though.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it...

[lordpasternack]

Your mission, should you choose to accept it...

... is?

[Sisifo]

What a bunch of perverts! I knew I was in the right place!

I will write to one of the admin, shortly, to make that poll, I'm intrigued.
But going through some of the comments:
No, I had no problems in the RDF. But it was in the RDF that I met a boy/man of 22, virgin, who was waiting and looking for the right one and I tried to see the reasons of that. Without going to that extreme, we all know (or are) people who is ashamed of going around naked, or has very restricted or limited views towards sex. This is of main interest (and I can't believe that it isn't a main chapter in RDF), because sexuality would be the only moral topic that it isn't illegal, and if it's shared by non-religious and religious, it gives leverage to the "theres moral, ergo there's God" argument of theists.
Some of you post that atheist are more freeminded in sex aspects, being deviants of the norm... Not in my experience, about sex.
Caribbean and latinamerican countries are deeply catholic, but as one women said to me "You fuck half an hour, but you have sex all day". A world capital of the swinger scene is Dubai. More than half of the couples in those parties are muslim.
But there are absolutely no nudist or naturist or even topless beaches in the atheist South East Asia (Vietnam, China, Singapore, etc).

And besides, it doesn't matter what we do... We can enjoy a little spice of depravity in sex. But what we think matters.
Whatever your openness of thinking is, there is always someone more open who does things that shock you... Why are we shocked?

If our 13 yo daughter comes, not to talk about safe sex ,flowers and bees, but asking for permission to stay in someone's house in the night because she has a gangbang with her classmates, what do we say? why?
Would we teach our 14 yo. daughter or son, asuming they are certain of their sexuality, how to perform a good blowjob?
How do we feel if our sister, or parents, happily married, show to us the pictures of this summer orgies in their greek holydays among the postcards of the Parthenon and Santorini?

This is a funny thing: If I see a guy at night, dressed in leather strings with chains hanging from the scrotum piercings, I can't asume he is atheist. Statistically he wouldn't be.

The answer to our feelings is in Freud and Jung (and I guess that more modern authors, but I just read the previous out of culture), but let's remember: Freud was atheist, but Jung was very religious, and in both cases, they were talking about children development in a very religious culture.
But once one gets rid of God, shouldn't the feeling of "sin" or "prohibited" be erased, too? An atheist country would make sense to be nudist, polyamory and bisexual by its social norm... Aw well. Here I am letting my fantasies go to the argument

So... To keep focus: Those who are not nudist, why? Those who are monogamous, why? those who dare not to go to an orgy, why? and what would be your answers to the family situations described above?