Best EVER Fundie Bollocks

[devogue]

I'll do my own humorous summary
"Debating with an atheist"
Atheist: I deny the existence of air
Facilis: what?? You're breathing now. Air is the necessary precondition for breathing.
A: No. I see no reason why air is necessary for breathing. I am breathing now and i don't believe in air.
F: It the impossibility of the contrary. What else could you be breathing.
A: That is just an air of the gaps fallacy.You just insert air into the gaps since you do not know how people breathe.
F:But how else can you account for breathing?
A:I'm just breathing because that is the way it is. I'm still going to deny the existence of air.

http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/comments.aspx?q=60105

[Animavore]

You're fucking kidding me? Right?

[devogue]

You're fucking kidding me? Right?

I swear to fuck. Look:

http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/default.as ... &archive=1

on March 1st.

Look at this one I found on RR:

I saw on TV once that 99% of people who claim to be an atheist, can not pass a lie detector test when asked, "Do you believe in God?"

I also read that most who claim to be an atheist, had a very poor (if not bad) relationship with their earthly father while growing up. Therefore, because they never felt loved and accepted by their earthly father, whom they SEE... have extreme difficulty in perceiving how this Heavenly invisible Father could possibly give 2 cents about them.

SO, I decided to put this information to the test.

Whenever someone tells me they are an atheist, I look them square in the eye and say;

"You know, studies have proven that 99% who claim to be an atheist, can't pass a lie detector test."

They usually grin at me, but nervously.

THEN I SAY;

I also read that most never felt loved by their dad's. So it's hard for them to believe that they have a Father in Heaven who loves them unconditionally.

By this time, they look serious.

Then I ask,

"Do you feel loved and accepted by your dad?"

And at that moment brothers and sisters, you see the pain in their eyes.

So don't believe them when they say they don't believe in God. Try to get to the heart of the matter. Some so-called ex-atheist I once knew are now totally in love with Jesus! HALLELUJAH!!!!

http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=54352&page=6

(Second from bottom)

[cowiz]

In-fucking-sane

[Geoff]

You're fucking kidding me? Right?

I swear to fuck. Look:

http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/default.as ... &archive=1

on March 1st.

Look at this one I found on RR:

I saw on TV once that 99% of people who claim to be an atheist, can not pass a lie detector test when asked, "Do you believe in God?"

I also read that most who claim to be an atheist, had a very poor (if not bad) relationship with their earthly father while growing up. Therefore, because they never felt loved and accepted by their earthly father, whom they SEE... have extreme difficulty in perceiving how this Heavenly invisible Father could possibly give 2 cents about them.

SO, I decided to put this information to the test.

Whenever someone tells me they are an atheist, I look them square in the eye and say;

"You know, studies have proven that 99% who claim to be an atheist, can't pass a lie detector test."

They usually grin at me, but nervously.

THEN I SAY;

I also read that most never felt loved by their dad's. So it's hard for them to believe that they have a Father in Heaven who loves them unconditionally.

By this time, they look serious.

Then I ask,

"Do you feel loved and accepted by your dad?"

And at that moment brothers and sisters, you see the pain in their eyes.

So don't believe them when they say they don't believe in God. Try to get to the heart of the matter. Some so-called ex-atheist I once knew are now totally in love with Jesus! HALLELUJAH!!!!

http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=54352&page=6

(Second from bottom)

I love the step from "I saw on TV once" to "studies have shown"...

[Trolldor]

Lying for Jesus

[Xamonas Chegwé]

Such bollocks

[Gawdzilla Sama]

"I saw it on TV so it must be true!"

[Animavore]

I saw on TV once that 99% of people who claim to be an atheist, can not pass a lie detector test when asked, "Do you believe in God?"

I also read that most who claim to be an atheist, had a very poor (if not bad) relationship with their earthly father while growing up. Therefore, because they never felt loved and accepted by their earthly father, whom they SEE... have extreme difficulty in perceiving how this Heavenly invisible Father could possibly give 2 cents about them.

SO, I decided to put this information to the test.

Whenever someone tells me they are an atheist, I look them square in the eye and say;

"You know, studies have proven that 99% who claim to be an atheist, can't pass a lie detector test."

They usually grin at me, but nervously.

THEN I SAY;

I also read that most never felt loved by their dad's. So it's hard for them to believe that they have a Father in Heaven who loves them unconditionally.

By this time, they look serious.

Then I ask,

"Do you feel loved and accepted by your dad?"

And at that moment brothers and sisters, you see the pain in their eyes.

So don't believe them when they say they don't believe in God. Try to get to the heart of the matter. Some so-called ex-atheist I once knew are now totally in love with Jesus! HALLELUJAH!!!!

Oh daddy. Why? Why?

[JasonK]

That crap is just painful.